Monday, September 1, 2014

Raising a Little Foodie


“Food brings people together on many different levels. It's nourishment of the soul and body. It's truly love.” – Giada De Laurentiis  

Raising a Little Foodie:

I was going to hold off on covering this topic, because I feel I have so much to say, and I wanted to take my time compiling all of my thoughts. But after I saw the 100 Foot Journey, I simply cannot wait.  Food – good food – is very important to me, and thus, important to my kids.

My goal is to raise a child – and ultimately, an adult – that is a foodie. 

What is a foodie?  It’s a term that’s thrown around, and I think it’s often misunderstood.  It’s not a person that likes everything.  It’s a person that tries everything, and more importantly, is interested in understanding and appreciating the origins and science of food.  Typically, a foodie has a refined palate, but they do not necessarily like everything they try.  Everyone is allowed to have preferences and dislikes.  Everyone’s taste buds are different.  Quite literally, our tongues are like fingerprints.  No two are ever the same, and we are genetically predisposed to have different chemical reactions to different flavors.  What tastes sour (and even bad) to me, may taste great to someone else.  I, personally, do not have a sweet tooth.  I don’t fawn over the cupcake display at a party.  I do, however, fawn over the raw bar.  Seafood in all forms is always my number one pick, so if you can’t find me at a party, just find the raw bar, and I will be “manning” it.

When it comes to our kids, it’s important to realize that their natural tendency will be to reject food items that are different.  That’s what makes them feel safe.  Don’t let this discourage you, or make you feel as though you are doing something wrong as a parent.  However, I think we get into trouble when we label our kids a "picky eater." It is discouraging to them, and almost gives them indirect permission to continue on this path. They are merely kids who only eat to survive, and don't yet know how many amazing flavors exist in the world around them.  It is our job to teach them!  Think of the craziest dish that you enjoy.  What if you never tried it?  I do not want to deprive my little dears of enjoying new experiences and culinary adventures in their lifetime, and the only way to do that is to encourage them to try, try, try!

So, how do we, as parents, lay the groundwork for a successful eater down the road?  How do we approach food in such a way that we are more concerned with creating good habits, rather than just focusing on the nutrition aspect of food alone? 

My personal approach is that anything I eat, my kids eat.  There’s no such thing as a “kids’ menu” in my home.  You’d be shocked to know how quickly kids can learn to appreciate what you would consider to be “adult food.”  I also try to offer them items that I may not appreciate, but I at least want to expose them to as much as possible. 

Ladies, in your dating years, have you been on a date with a guy that made a sour face at something exotic in a nice restaurant?  Not only can it be embarrassing, but it makes you suddenly feel like you’re with a young boy who would rather have Fruit Loops.  Just think: he was a kid once.  There are certain childhood traits that kids organically grow out of, and others that will stick with them for a lifetime.  It’s our job, as parents, to prepare our little dears for an adult world filled with trips to different countries, cocktail parties, dates, client dinners, eating at the home of people who may serve different foods, and most importantly, eating as a form of cultural appreciation.  When you allow them to close off their culinary world now, it will not get better on its own.  They need constant encouragement to be flexible.

You may be shaking your head and thinking, “You just don’t understand.  My kid will never try broccoli rabe, salmon, berries, etc.”  If you shift your thinking on making it approachable for them, then I promise you, they will eventually take that little bite.  And by the way, that little bite is a success story!  No clean plate clubs, ok?  That’s a dated philosophy that I am convinced is a product of the Great Depression.

Here are a few very simple baby steps you can take to get your kids on the path to being a foodie:

-          Have them participate, even in the smallest way
Maria Montessori – a doctor, a feminist, and the first early childhood educator to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize – had a theory.  She believed that children who participate in the upkeep of their surroundings will not only show more of an interest in them, but have a strong sense of pride.  Children who sweep a floor will be more likely to keep it clean, and in my experience, children who have even the smallest jobs that contribute to a meal will be more likely to eat it.  The first time I tried this, it worked right away.  My son was starting to reject vegetables one by one, and I realized that of course some textures and colors might seem intimidating if they just show up on his plate out of nowhere.  I brought him into the kitchen, put a carrot in his left hand and a peeler in his right hand, and leaning over a large bowl, I made him peel that carrot, with my hands over his hands.  As he and I peeled that carrot, I said the word, “Peel, peel, peel.”  He started saying it with me, and before I could even consider slicing it up for him once we finished peeling it, he had already taken a big bite out of the tip.  He was so proud of himself!  The carrot was not scary anymore because he saw where it came from, how it was prepared, and most importantly, it was his labor of love!  He was only two years old when we did this.  Now, he is six, and has much bigger jobs in the kitchen.  And it all started with that one carrot!

-          Unconventional Combinations
Combine two things they already love in an unconventional way.  They love mozzarella cheese balls, as well as mac-n-cheese from a box?  Have them make mac-n-cheese from scratch with elbow pasta and have them throw in mozzarella balls into the hot, cooked pasta.  No, it’s not the healthiest meal on earth, and by no means am I advocating it on a regular basis, but it’s an example of how you can lay the groundwork for expanding their thinking a bit.  You might even blow their little minds.  Remember, being a foodie is about how one thinks of food as a lifestyle, not necessarily what specifically one consumes.

-          Give them “options”
I use this word loosely, because it’s a mommy trick I use every day.  Kids become less cooperative when they feel like they are not given options, which strips them of their natural desire for autonomy.  I heard great advice from another mom once, which I think of every single day.  Give three options – one they will definitely pick, and two they might not want.  For example, if you know your child loves chicken nuggets, and you want to introduce two new foods, such as hearts of palm and artichoke hearts, offer all three and tell your little dear to pick TWO items.  They are locked in to at least one new item.  Don’t get discouraged if this doesn’t work the first time.  It took several meals for this tactic to work with my son, but it finally kicked in!

-          Food is a full sensory experience
Tasting is the most intrusive and intimidating of all of the senses. We underestimate how involved eating really is, but do you realize it involves taste, smell, touch, and sight ALL. AT. ONCE.  If even one of these senses is unhappy, that first taste will not happen.  If it smells great, but looks weird, the plate will get pushed away.  If it looks great, but feels gooey and gross, the plate will get pushed away. When we think about it this way, we can cut our kids a little slack for not wanting to jump into the middle of the ocean when they are just learning how to doggie paddle.  If a child does not put a new food item in his or her mouth right away, it is still not a failed attempt.  Can you get your little dear to smell it, or touch it?  Use your trickery skills, mama!  First, if there is a food item that you are certain they will not try right away, have them merely place it in a plate “as a favor to you because you are so busy preparing dinner.”  Bingo! You got them to touch the item.  Pay close attention to the face they make when they touch item.  If they make a sour face, they aren’t being dramatic.  They are having an honest to goodness sensory moment.  Now don’t even mention it again until a few days later when you serve that item again.  Maybe ask them to smell it.  The third time, place a SMALL portion of that item in their plate without saying a word.  If you talk about it, you will kill the plan, trust me!  Your child may be so used to seeing, smelling, and touching that item, it may not even occur to them to not taste it at this point.  They key here is to be patient and give them time to accept this new item into their little world.

-          Lead by example
I eat a salad every damn day for lunch.  Exciting, I know.  It’s the quickest, most affordable way I can think of to be healthy, control my weight, and most importantly maintain my energy throughout the day.  I am a “kitchen sink” kind of gal.  In other words, I will throw just about anything in my salad, much like my pizza.  Leftover steak?  Perfect.  Beans from a can?  Bring it.  Salmon, shrimp, quinoa, hard-boiled egg, avocado… yes, please! Oh, and lots of fresh lemon and extra virgin olive oil.  Every day while I make my salad, I make my daughter watch, while I narrate everything I’m doing.  Then, I sit down and eat it in front of her.  Sometimes, I offer her a bite.  But usually, I just let her watch me put that delicious green stuff in my mouth, bite by bite.  My thought process here is, if she wants a bite, she will tell me.  The more I offer, the less likely she will be to try it.  The most important thing in this situation is that she observes her mother having good food habits, and when occasionally asks for a bite of avocado, or anything else, I am more than happy to oblige.  Again being inspired by Maria Montessori, I believe a self-directed approach to learning will be successful in this case, of course, while I set the stage of exposing her to new areas of interest.

-          Talk about your shopping list 
Although for my own sanity, I avoid schlepping my kids to the supermarket whenever I can, I am a mom with limited help, so like most of you, I’ve got at least one bored child with me, just ready for a meltdown.  I have found that when I engage my kids in the experience, they have a tendency to be more patient, and even actually helpful [sometimes].  Either way, I think that making them part of the process of a meal from every angle, including finding the ingredients at the store, gets them excited about a new recipe.  Recently, I made Panini in our George Foreman grill.  I really wanted my kids to try pesto, and I thought what better way than in a sandwich that includes other items I know they already love – lunch meat, fresh mozzarella, and bread.  It was such a simple meal that only required a few staples at the supermarket, and sure enough, when I pointed to the jar of pesto (no, I don’t make it fresh!), my son said, “It’s green?!?”  Then, paused a moment, and reluctantly took it off the shelf and placed it in the cart.  Apparently, that was all it took.  He delighted in making this meal at home, and especially loved “painting” the olive oil on the bread. 

-          Give the experience a voice
Food for nourishment is purely biological. Food for enjoyment is purely intellectual. Give your kids the language a proper foodie would need to describe what they're tasting. Beyond just “good” or “bad,” is it sweet, salty, sour, tangy, spicy, chewy, gamey, etc.? Talk about it in the moment, while the new flavor and experience is fresh on their taste buds. This will make it easier to describe new foods in the future if they have something to compare it to. You can say, "Remember when you tasted the tandoori chicken, and at first it was a little spicy, but then you got used to it? This other type of chicken will be similar, only a little sweeter." This will make them braver over time because they will know what to expect with a frame of reference. Plus, you're expanding their vocabulary, which is never a bad thing!

I send you off into the night, my foodies, and encourage you all to start small, and if anything else, start with yourselves.  Be adventurous.  Try something new this week.  Your kids will notice.  Talk about it.  Share your thoughts.  Even if you say, “Mommy didn’t like that as much as she thought she would,” it’s ok!  You just want your little dears to see the adults they love and respect trying something new, and then surviving to talk about it. 

Copyright © 2014 Mary Ghicas, The Finer Things for Kids

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